Red + Yellow = Orange

not a lot of people read or update on this site anymore, so this is going to be a quick one. same old thing is going on here. i'm still seeing the same guy and he still has comitment issues and claims he never wants to date anyone. i know i can't change him and i'm not going to try. we send almost every day together and i spend almost every night over there. we care about eachother alot, he's just a dumb dumb. i'm hoping after time he will change his mind on his own, and if not, then it was great while it lasted and he is and always will be a big part of who i am. for now i just want to enjoy it and have fun!

work sucks, i hate it. i'm looking for a job in stevens point because it is 30 mins. closer.

i still live with ash (eventhough i'm never there) and i will be able to move out when i get a job that doesn't suck $300 a month in gas outa me.

that's it.

later.

jess.

here's another update. things have been good. i just wish that sometimes i would just let things be good without having to over analyze what's going on. bob. that's the guy i've been hanging out with. he's 33. he has an 8 year old daughter. they are both great. he doesn't want to date. he's been through alot in the past (never married) and just isn't ready to have to deal with it again. so we are friend. but we are close. most would assume we are dating b/c we do everything u do when u date. i think i spend the night at his house more then my own. well a few months back we got into an argument and decided that friends are what we wanted. i just agreed to agree b/c i didn't want to lose him. some days i think he wants more. i think he wants to be with me, but really, just isn't ready. other days i think that he is just happy being friends and that's all he's going to want. he's not one of those people who talks about feelings. everytime i attempt to bring it up, he says, "oh, we're gonna have this argument again.." so, that's how that goes. i'm gonna be away from him all week and i know i'm gonna miss him and i want him to miss me. even if he does, he won't tell me. don't sleep with me, call me every night after work, do things for me, care for me, and then tell me we are just friends. one of us is in denial, i just don't kno which one... maybe both... any ways, gotta run!

jess

hey!

it's been awhile, and apparently nobody updates anymore which makes me think they don't read updates, soooo, i'm prolly writing this for the health of myself. a lot has been up in the last few months.

my grandma died. my mom's mom. it was hard, and i was there when it happened. it still hurts and i still forget somedays.

i miss my very special friend from milwaukee. i knew i would miss him. the feelings i had, they went away. we are closer now more then ever and it's just what i wanted. it's perfect. but i still miss him like crazy. some days his voice just isn't enough.

i met a guy. he's great, he really is. unfortunatly i don't think he'll ever want to commit. but, he treats me good. we treat eachother good. i know he cares. i care. and sometimes, that's enough. it makes me happy. and i think it makes him happy. y try to fix sumthing when it's not broken?

i hate my job. my manager is the devil and i'm currently looking for a new job. errr...

well, i think that's about it. later!

Jess.

welcome!

i'm at school with ashley again, the only time i get to go on-line. not much has changed since yesterday... i'm still excited about my new job and can't wait to start! i want to go down to milwaukee one of these days soon... i could have went down there this week, but i just couldn't, or can't, bring myself to do it. i want to go when i can see everyone. summer would be a good time, but at the same time i miss everyone. but i don't want to waste the gas money to go there and not have ne where to stay or ne one to hang out with who isn't busy, u kno? plus the one person i don't want to see, wants to c me and i don 't kno if i'm ready for that yet. i can't wait til summer! there are so many things that i want to do and places i want to go. ash wants to go to door county for her 21st b-day and she invited brandon, when the time gets closer, i'll ask him again, or beg him, lol, but i just think it would be a lota fun! he is the one person that i've met that i can c myself being with. i think that everyone pictures where they want their life to be like and the kind of person they want to spend it with. i want to spend it with someone who has as much drive as i have but still knows how to have a good time. i don't know, there's more then that but i don't have all day to type. but ne how the jist of this is that i wish things were going faster but i'm not gonna rush things, if they were went to happen, then they will. plus, like my sister says, u find luv when u aren't looking for it. what's nice about being here is that i actually get to go out, at home, i never went out to the bars, so i'm excited. well one last thought and then i'm outie.



"i think i'm finally there. i'm where i want to be. i'm where u want me to be. i'm finally at the point where i don't want u. i don't want to be with u. u aren't the one for me. i can c u in my future as a friend. as someone i can run to. someone i can tell things to. i can c u in my future, but nuthing more then a friend, maybe a soulmate, but never the less, a friend. i really do think that we have a connection, a bond, chemistry. all of that will last forever, but just wouldn't ever be strong enough for ne thing more. you have taught me so much. so much that u will never know. i am a different person b/c of you. i am a better person. i am more confident then i have ever been and more conscience of what's around me. you have woken my heart up to the idea that love can exist. not to be afraid of it. love is a strong thing, and even if you get your heart broken, it's never not worth it. you also taught me that love between friends, is just as fragile as being in love. i may not have ever been in love, but i am now open to the idea that if i want to be, i can. i have this wierd fear that some day i will lose you. you tell me that that would never happen b/c u will never let it happen. i never want to lose you as a friend, but at the same time, if i ever do, you will be the one person who will have left footprints on my heart."

(outie)

hello hello to all!

stuff has actually been up! wow, right! ne how, so i got the job at the Children's Place... i start on monday, the 21st. i start our making $10 an hour and i'm assistant manager!--yay! ne how, so i'm excited about that... plus i get to dress up for work and i get insurance after 90 days!--yay! so the other nite, myself, ash, her friend ashley, brandon, and him and ash's friend ryan, all went out... well actually we didn't all go out together, we just ended up at the same place at the same time. but moving on, so it was fun i drank and almost got into a fight with this ugly girl. she was flirting with brandon which ticked me off to begin with, and ryan bring it to my attention every 2 seconds, didn't help. so this ugly chic decided that while she was flirting that she was gonna continually bump into my seat. well i moved it like a foot and she still kept doing it, and like she had to really bend to hit my seat b/c i moved it so far, so u kno she was doing it on perpose... eerrrr i was gonna leave, and i was gonna violently push my seat into her when i left but she left 1st... eerrrr... so the next nite i went out with ash's friend kim and we met up with ashley and sum other friends of my sister's and people i didn't kno. we went to the same bar that we had gone to the nite b4 and then we went to a different bar and brandon was there and i talked to him a little but he was "tired and crabby" so i didn't talked to him long. oh, and i danced, alot!! it was so so so fun! the only thing was that i had to drive myself home, and it's a 30 min. drive. but i drank water for a bit b4 i left. and brandon spilled it which i am still trying to figure out y he had my water... maybe he wanned to c if it was really water... i was being really out there for drinking water--lol. hhhmmmm nuthing else has really been up. i have felt like crap the last few days, my boobs hurt, i'm exhasted, and my entire body aches... i got my period a week early b/c i went off the pill.... which means i have to be careful for next 6 months... other then that, i have been really happy and good. i miss everyone though.. well later!

this is gonna be a quicky. i have my second interview for the children's place today... wish me luck, or even better then that, tell me to break a leg--lol. (with my luck, i will..) i really want this job but i don't like how far away it is. and i was thinking of moving to appleton, but i wanned to stay with ash for a year, and with that drive, it's gonna be a long year for me, and for my car! i guess i'll just have to c what happens in the next couple of months. 1st i have to c if i get the job and second, the guy that i have a crush on (feel like i am 14 again--lol) is buying the house next door to ash's. so it would be dumb for me to move now--lol. ne how, things have been crazy, i have always been one of those people that thinks their life is pretty good and looks at the good things instead of the bad, things could always be worse... well lately i have been so all over the board that i don't kno what to do with myself and i'm afraid i'm gonna mess things up b/c of the way i have been feeling. once i get health insurace, i'm thinking of going on an anti-depressent... well we'll c how that goes.

later!

hmm.. so what has been going on in the exciting world of jessie... not much, seriously, not much. i work at bath and body works, which you can barily tell b/c i work 3 hours this week, yeah, that's what i said. and it sux b/c i have 3 "call in days". that means that i have to call an hour b4 my shift to c if i have to come in or not. it sucks b/c yesterday i was already to go and i didn't have to go. which was nice b/c i didn't feel like going there but at the same time, i was ready to go nowhere, u kno?! i am waiting for second interview to be scheduled for the childrens place and for charter fuels. the nice thing about charter fuels, is that it's WAY closer of a drive and i get insurance after one month!, and i'm having issues, in my special place--lol. so, i really like being here, but i miss everyone, not that i would see everyone everyday neways, but i still miss everyone. although, i don't miss paying rent--lol. what sucks is that eventhough i'm almost 3 hours away, there's still drama! i hate when people act nice to ur face and then try to make u out to be the bad one. if u don't like me, tell me--odds are, i'm not too fond of u either... but i have to admit, i don't have as much drama in my life as i used to. apparently, weeding out ur friends is the way to go. ne how, boy land: it's going... the guy that i like here, is moving in next door, literally, next door! we can c in eachother's backyards--lol. (specially since we bought a trampoline!--lol). well, nuthing exciting is really happening with him. he is busy all the time and now with work starting... eh. well hopefully with summer right around the corner, he will go out with us on some weekends and i will c him at town events. (yes, our town has events--lol). i wouldn't mind just being friends with him, if that's what he wants, but i'm not doing the friends with benefits thing. i get too attached to deal with that. but then again, if he agreed to not throw feelings at me, it wouldn't be that bad, but still, i don't want to go there. oh, funny story, so the other day, me, ash, josh, and alayna went to eat a fish fry and as we were leaving we walked through the bar and we ran into a guy friend of josh, ash, and brandon's. (whom, i have met, maybe twice..? and the last time i seen him he commented on me and brandon sleeping together...). well, as we were leaving he commented to ash and josh about how much alayna looks like josh. (remember that i haven't said ne thing to this guy yet) and he turns to me, and out of the blue, says, "so when are u and brandon gonna have kids?" EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?! i just laughed it off, but last time i checked, we weren't dating, and for that matter, really not having sex--lol. i just love how people i don't even kno, kno my business, and he's not the only one.. eerrrr. oh, so on another had, i went to chase's house over the weekend.. that was an interesting visit. usually when i go over there, he shows a little affection to me. NOTHING. i got NOTHING. i was very upset. i wasn't looking for him to rip off my clothes or ne thing, i just wanned a little affection. usually if he knows i'm upset, he will give me a hug or do SOMETHING. he was acting really weird. and i don't quite understand it. he wanned me there. b4 i came over i asked if he wanned me to come over and he said yes. and when i was there i asked twice if he wanned me to leave and he said no. and the thing is, he's a very sexual person... so i'm thinking it's odd that he wants to be around me, wants to talk to me, knows that if he asked, he could get more outa me, but doesn't want it. so i don't kno what to think. either he doesn't care what so ever or he cares more then i think he does. if he didn't care at all, then he wouldn't call and want to kno everything i did that day, specially knowing he's not getting ne thing outa it. but, maybe he just cares alot more then i think. when i left, he gave me a huge, i really care about u, hug. u kno, one of those tight, i don't wanna let go, hugs. plus he always tries to make me feel better when i'm down. so maybe he was just acting funny b/c he doesn't want to get close, for one reason or another??? i don't kno!! eh! oh, and when i brought it up to him, his answer was that i was the one acting weird, so if he came off that way, it was b/c i was. and that if i wanned sumthing, that i should have made the move--eerrrr! eh.. well ne ways, i hate guys, some people have the right idea... lol. well i'm off to get sum food. leave a note! later!

Everybody Loves Somebody (Dean Martin)


Ev'rybody loves somebody sometime

ev'rybody falls in love somehow.
Something in your kiss just told me
my sometime is now.

Ev'rybody finds somebody someplace

there's no telling where love may appear.
Something in my heart keeps saying
my someplace is now.

Ev'rybody loves somebody sometime

and although my dream was overdue

your love made it well worth waiting

for sometime is now.

If I had it in my power

I'd arrange for ev'ry girl to have your charms.
Then ev'ry minute
ev'ry hour

ev'ry boy would find what I found in your arms.

Ev'rybody loves somebody sometime

ev'rybody falls in love somehow.
Something in your kiss just told me
my sometime is here.

****my last entry reminded me of this song, gotta luv dean!

the way you make me feel
feel like i am loved
like i am needed
like i mean something
no matter what i do
or what i say
no matter how i act
or why i act that way
even if there is no rational reasoning
you still stand there
you still listen
and you still care
you never turn your back on me
you never let me go
i could beg you to push me a way
i could beg you to not love me
you would pretend, just because it's what i want
but you would never leave me
you would never leave me alone
i would like to say we are eachother's soulmate
no matter who we are with
what we say to eachother
or where our lives lead us
even if we go in different directions
with different people
we always have eachother
we always have that one person who would do anything
that one person who will hug you when you're down
pick you up when your sad
and smile at you when you need it the most
everybody NEEDS somebody, sometimes...

hello hello!

how have things been going u may ask?? well first off, i am officially living in waupaca, well actually iola. and i had a weird start and things are still a little weird...

*the first night (well actually second) i was in town i went out with my sister, her fiance, his cousin brandon, and his other cousin brian... lets just say i ended up getting drunk and coming home with both of them. i'm not a whore!--i didn't sleep with both of them. one of them left feeling not so satified. i don't intend on sleeping with ne one that i haven't already, unless i'm dating them... i don't kno what brian was thinking. he's good looking but i guess a little phsycotic. and now he always asks brandon how i'm doing... if he only knew i liked brandon... hmmm...

*i think it was my first week here when my niece stood up in her highchair at the chineese place and fell head first! we took her to the emergence room and they said her brain and neck her fine but that she cracked her skull and needed a check up the next week. she was fine, thank God

*i almost ran over a beaver or otter or sum type of weird animal

*deer can make themselves invisible and visible at ne given time

*my check engine light came on (more $ i had to spend)

*i cut my hair, short, and dyed it BLONDE! my hair now matches my cat sassy

*not that ne one needs to kno but my period is all messed up and that makes me sad

*i went to green bay's tundra lodge with my sister, her fiance, and his family. it was fun

*i went to shaboygen's waterpark with the same people (josh's sister paid for the first one, thank goodness)

*i went to milwaukee for easter and my dad and step-mom were in town. it was fun. i visited my best friend--i miss him. and i went out to eat with a very special friend of mine, i miss him too!

*i went to my mom's twice

*the second time (3 days ago) i got a speeding ticket for going 17 over, $237 that i have to pull outa my butt... i've never gotten pulled over or a ticket so i can't believe it was that high, errr... and i usually never go over 70, i was daydreaming...

*i still haven't gotta unemployment!!!! it's pending b/c i "quit" grebe's... i think we got it settled though and i should be getting a check soon!

*i had an interview at bath and body. it went well. BUT they are offering little to no hours which is gay!

*today (right now) i am at school with my sister (hence y i am on-line, b/c i have no internet) and i just sent out my resume to 4 places and the place (the children's place) where my sister works is hiring a new manager and i took my resume and coverletter in today and i have a group interview on tuesday. i don't kno if it's just to get to kno me so she can tell the hiring manager or if they'll give me a normal job and then maybe promote me later... i don't kno...

*i really like this guy, brandon, and i don't think it's as mutual as i would like it to be. oh well i guess, but i would like to be good friends but his schedule is messed up right now so we'll c what happens. wish me luck!

*i miss my best friend (best guy friend) he's my rock. we argue b/c i'm phycotic, my words, not his but he always seems to laugh it off and want to be around me and talk to me. i miss u.

*i called trini at jewel today. he was fun to talk to and it was weird to hear sumone amswer the phone "jewel-osco appriciates your business"--that was my line...

*my sister and i were driving home from new lisban (i think it's spelled) and for the 1st time i seen a supervalue! they can go to hell!--that is what i yelled out the window!

*i am so sick of not working!

*I WANT A PAIR OF CROCKS SOOOOOOOOO SUPER BAD AND I FOUND A PAIR THAT ARE THIN TO FIT MY FEET AND I CAN'T AFFORD THEM. I HAVE NNNNOOOOO, I REPEAT, NO MONEY! ::sad::

ne how, gotta go. hope u enjoyed!

wow! A LOT has been up. jewel is closing in less then a month! i'm pretty happy about that b/c lately i've just hated it there. it never really bothered me b4 but since we started liquidation, the customers have gotten really bad and i just don't have the patients to handle the associates ne more. so, when jewel closes at the end of the month, i'm moving to waupaca. i'm actually very very excited. i'm a lil scared though and there's, 3 in particular, friends that i don't want to leave. my best friend, as of right now, i am so afraid to leave him. he is my rock. yeah, i'm sure we'll talk like we do now but it's not the same when i'm 3 hours away, ya kno?? i'm gonna miss him more then u could even imagine. but on the bright side, i text messaged my sister the other day and asked her to asked brandon (her fiance's cousin) if he actually liked me or if he just liked me b/c i'm easy. well she asked him, not in those exact words, and he said that he considers us friends and wants to hang out more when i move there. not exactly what i wanned to hear, but good enough. i like that he wants to be friends. i'm used to having guy friends to go to, so if ne thing, it'll be nice to have a nice guy friend that i can hang out and double date with. i'm really hoping that we hang out and it turns into more, like dating. but like i said if it don't, that's fine too.

ne how, i gotta run!

hey it's been awhile! not much has been up, well actually that's a lie, everything has been up but not a whole lot that i share to share. but yeah, so i've been 21 for over a month! my birthday was awesome! i went to waupaca and i went out with my sister, her fiance, and her fiance's cousin (brandon). we all went out and met up with sum of my sister's friends and i managed to keep down 12 shots and 8 drinks. i was excited, too bad i threw up out the side of my car afterwards. i kept everything down but the orange juice--lol. i had went to waupaca about a month prior to that and the four of us had went out, it was fun to double date. apparently we hit it off better then i thought we did, b/c on my birthday i was a lil naughty, too bad i can't remember how good it was--lol. and too bad i didn't remember to use ne thing. if i would learn to use my brain, i wouldn't be in the situation that i am in right now, which brings me to my next point, i hate going to the doctor and having them shove things up my vagina, that makes me feel oh-so peachy... ne how, so i'm going to waupaca next week and ash said that brandon is excited to c me. it should be a blast, wink wink. not much else has been up, with jewel closing i might move to waupaca. if jewel gets bought out then i'm gonna stay there til i find a new job up north. oh!--and i graduated! i FINALLY have an associates degree in marketing, woowoo! ne how, i need to sleep.

nite nite

The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do
and the reason is you

i am annoyed. first off, everytime u come in town, u never bother to tell me that u are coming in and when i find out from your mom and call u on it, u always end up cancling our plans or cutting them short. thanx for the effort.... then when i can't come see u, u seemed to get upset. well i'm sorry, y should i make an effort to drive an hour and a half when u can't even drive down the road. well i'm guessing ur hands are broke and u can't see or hear, seeing that u don't IM me or pick up the phone. well i'm annoyed and i need to eat b4 work, later.

things have been ok lately. i went to waupaca and i had a lot of fun. it was nice to spend sum time with my sister. we shopped and cooked and put up christmas stuff. it was a lot of fun and it was also a lot of fun to spend sumtime with alayna. i felt like me and ashley actually got sumtime to bond. also, ashley josh, myself and josh's cousin brandon all went out a few times. i am a very nervous person especially around guys that i don't kno too well. to my surprise i wasn't as nervous as i normally am. yes i was a little quiet and a little nervous, but not as much as usual or as much as i expected. i wish i could have stayed there an extra week....

hello hello. it's been a day....

***first off, i've been thinking about my whole moving situation and i've come to the conclustion that i don't think i'm ready to move yet. i mean, yes, i want to move to the Dells. Eventually i want to get married and have a family and that's where i want it all to happen. i thought it would be easy to leave and move there but the truth is, i've lived here my whole life, this is where my friends are. i'm 20, and i'm gonna be 21 in 2 months, i want to spend the best years of my life with friends, not running from them. I just don't want to disapoint my mom. she really wants me to move there, now, like 2maro. i AM going to move there i just think i should wait a little. the one thing that concern me is that i'ld end up in a relationship here and not want to move, but at the rate i'm going, i'm not too worried about it. i want to move though, but here.... i either want to get a room mate or a different apartment that is about the same price as this. my apartment was good to me when i needed it but i hate that i have no cabnit space, my kitchen sink leaks, my bathroom sink runs, my screen in my room is busted, my carpet is garbage and smells, i have no laundry area, the hear is always cranked, i have to walk up three flights of stairs with groceries.... i don't kno....

***second, my job. i act like i hate my job and yes i do at times, a lot of times. but it's really not that bad. the time goes fast and i like the people at the desk. i like working with numbers and like business, that sounds dumb but i'm going to school for business for a reason. this is a good start and my boss is pretty awesome. i hate the brainless people i have to work with. i have A LOT of patients with customers, i really do. more then most people at jewel do, it's the employees that i have ABSOLUTLY NO PATIENTS FOR! that's what makes me hate my job at times, not the job it's self, that i like. also, i have to take a weeks vacation b4 the end of the year and i'm hoping maybe the week after thanksgiving, which is the last week in November. im not sure what i'm gonna do over my vacation. i'm thinking maybe my sister's for the 1st half and then the second 1/2 spending with sum friends.... sounds like a plan?

***speaking of friends.... i hate hanging out with people who seem to only care about themself. i kno that i like to talk about myself and that i kin be a little selfish, but i am also very cerious. i like to hear what people have to say about their lives b/c i get to ask questions and bet nosey. plus i love to give advice, i've been through more in my life then 1/2 of u kin even imagine and so i think i kin give some real advice on certain topics. but i hate when u try to say sumthing and they change the subject to them all the time. you you you, what about me. and i hate when i give and give and get nuthing in return. you kno y no ones wants to hang out with u is b/c u complain. i complain but for sum reason i kin make it fun, i don't know.... but it's just the way you do it and every hang out session has to be about you and ur work and ur life and blah blah blah. so don't get mad when i don't wanna hang out, b/c there's a reason for it. i may be busy but i kin always make time for the people that matter.

***being single. i've had an issue with dating, duh--lol. one of my issues is i never want to commit to dating b/c i'm always afraid that i'm making the wrong decission and i'm gonna meet someone better and be stuck. or have to choose and make the wrong decission. i work in weird ways. i dunno. it's not that i've ever had an issue with being single it's just that i being single always made me feel like no one wanned me, which apparently is the exact opposite. all i want is love. i don't mean like in-love love, i just want love. i think i found that, with more then one person. the more the merrier... yes i want to eventually get married and blah blah blah but i need to kno what i want and fix sum of my emotional problems 1st, which is where good friends come in handy, one in particular but all at the same time. i just need some one to boost my self esteem and get me ready for the real world.

***so i went to the "female doctor" for an exam and it turns out i don't need one til i'm 21 but she game me birthcontrol which makes me so happy i could cry. the other part that makes me want to cry is that i have to wait til after my next cycle b4 i kin start using it!--i don't kno if i kin make it through another cycle, my body almost killed it's self last month.... errr....

***moving on, i talked to crystal the other day at grebe's and it turns out that grebe's is being sold. they don't have a buyer yet, but it prolly won't take long. and as much as i love crystal, i hate working two jobs, so she putting me on "stand by", meaning if i need the money or she needs the help, we have eachother's #'s. which i am very greatful for. thank you.

OMG i think that's it....
i feel better now!
i'm exhasted and need sum sleep. nite to all!

hey hey. yesterday was a good day, u kno y? b/c i didn't have ne problems at work, i got to talk to my friends, and still got out at 11:20 and didn't leave ne thing for the morning person. it was great! i really really really want to quit grebe's but i like having extra cash, it's nice. but i've been so exhasted lately and need to go to the grocery store and get sum food in my house. other then that, not much is up. i'm tired, i hate getting up b4 noon, that sounds funny but when u work at jewel and late, it makes sence. in bf land, nuthing. i am still single and i guess that's a good thing. it will happen eventually, hopefully with the right person.

well need to eat, so later!

so things have been crazy lately. i'm not depressed but sumtimes it feels like that. my body hates me--i have craps and pms 3 outa the 4 weeks of the month. i hate being crabby and i hope the doctor kin fix me, i have an appoitment this month. i just hate being crabby all the time and i hate taking things out on people who i care about and who don't deserve it. i don't mean to, it just happens. i am so moody, sumtimes i'm surprised i have ne friends.

i really am happy though, it just doesn't seem like that. i actually have sum $ and still get one day off a week. I also get to sleep in almost every day, which is nice. everyday i get one step closer to graduation--end of month i should be done! i do have a lot of friends, they all care about me a lot and that makes me happy. all a person really needs in life are friends, friends make everything worth while.

well i guess that's all for now b/c i gotta get ready for work.
later!

so 2day i got sum sad news, a lady that i work with at grebe's just passed away. i miss her, she really was a good person. the holidays at grebe's just aren't gonna be the same.
on a not so depressing note, life actually hasn't been that bad. stuff hasn't exactly been going my way but it is in my favor, for the most part. i just need to not think and go with the flow, u only live once. i just don't wanna be one of those people who wakes up one day and realizes that they never really did live.
ne ways, so i've decided that i need to think less and just plane be happy, not everything is worth getting worked up about.


Nelly Furtado
Promiscuous


N: Do I turn you off?
Nope
N: Didn’t think so

How you doin’ young lady
That feelin’ that you givin’ really drivin' me crazy
You don’t haveta play about the joke
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke

N:If you looking for a girl that’ll treat you right
If you lookin’ for her in the day time with the light

You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night

N: You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it

All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand

I be the first to admit it, I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent

N: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute

Chorus-
Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
I’m all alone
And it's you that I want

N: Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I’m all yours
What you waiting for?

Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

N: Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

Verse-
N: Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead
But you're still kinda cute

Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
Where you at, do you mind if I come through

N: I’m out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down

N: I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely I’ma need your help
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health

I want you on my team
N: So does everybody else.

Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down ain’t nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go

N: What kind of girl do you take me for?

Chorus-
Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on

I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on

Bring that on
N: You know what I mean

Girl, I’m a freak you shouldn't say those things

I’m only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say

It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you gon' like

Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

Chorus-
Promiscuous Girl
Wherever you are
I’m all alone
And its you that I want

N: Promiscuous Boy
I'm calling your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you're making me wait

Promiscuous Girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

N: Promiscuous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more

***Later.

hey, haven't typed in here for awhile, been really busy. not much has been up. i'm going back up to the front end next week, i think, or the week after. i'm gonna be a 3rd at the service desk. this means i'm gonna be full time. kinda excited but there are alota things i'm gonna miss about being in produce. some is the people and some is the freedom. on another note, i hate guys.... it's weird how one person can make u feel so good about yourself but at the same time make u feel so horrible about yourself. u kno? i apologize to u if i have done this to u, i didn't kno it felt like this and i apologize--i hope u kno who u r. i give ne one credit who kin come out and say how they feel instead of playing mind games. it's weird b/c i kin pretty much say ne thing to ne one, but when it comes to the important things, i freeze up. eerrrr.... ne ways, nuth'n much is up, so i'm going to watch sum tv and sleep on the couch. nite.